th reason why

for some time now, i have thought of starting my own blog, but i never i actually got around in actually starting one.

now, as i am doing nothing else (oh yes, i am still jobless.. lol), i am starting one. just hope that i could keep this up. or at the very least, have at least some entries.

everything is changing. flashing right before my eyes. the thing is, i don't know what to do about it.
lately, i have done some things that never should have taken place. and i mean never. in the beginning, it was all just great fun. then, it became complicated, and more so each day. i'll the first one to admit that i lost my head in the process and now, everything just seems to crumble into pieces. i despise myself for what i have become. i used to like myself, ok, maybe not all the time. but at least then, i could have said to myself "you're doing just fine" and smile at the next moment. not anymore.

for those who know me,. this may come as a great surprise. don't worry, i will be fine. i'm working on it.