two months, too long

i have aged 10 years older and became two feet less in the past weeks. i don't think i can handle anymore surprises and revelations- people, event or whatever. I think i've had enough of those this er, memorable, (to put it mildly), summer vacation. nonetheless, hey, i've learned a lot and that i can take with me in the future.


well, i think all things considered i have done well in ammending my mistakes. i ended it, the thing that was wrong from the start. I think. I must admit, i do have relapses. just yesterday, i was very much affected when he texted suddenly. damnation. but hey, whatever. the point is, we finished it. i don't know how we would act towards each other when we meet again. I just have to make sure that i look as "blooming" as possible. no need to boost ego his ego by appearing as if my world ended when I called it quits.

also, i can't believe that i have lost all my love for my "pinakakatangi-tanging pag-ibig" as i liked to call him then. now. I can finally say that i am over him. yes, tope, i am over you. hindi na kita crush. it has taken some time, (again, an understatement), to avtually do that. I knew it was teh right thing to do when you did that to her. I can't believe that you did that, well, yeah, I actually believe it. Well, you read this, you'll probably go, "what did I ever do to you?" well, nothing. It wasn't your fault that i like you. Its just that throughout all these time, you were my anchor, whatever happened, it was you or at least my perception of you, that was consistent. so to speak. I know that you were not aware of all of this, and i actually have no right to be angry at you or anything like that. im not. its just makes my head spin knowing that you would never actually make me back had i told you of my feelings. i would have been devastated. i'm sorry that it ever happened to her, I felt that you actually like her back and you'll be great together. tope, nobody deserves to treated like that. ever.

ok.. now , its all done with , I am up at my feet again. damn company, I wish that they'd call me back. just so i know if i made it or not.. but then again, patience is a virtue.. for the record, i am really at a meager budget, please, i need money.. people, i am ready for employment, lets get it on.. smiley..

ayeene, i like this new you. you should cut your hair more often.