Monday, May 28, 2007

of cold nights and babies

As the rain pours outside, I can’t help but feel happy, jubilant even. I’ve always loved rainy nights, particularly in times like this when I’m all alone in a place with my thoughts. Had it been any other night, I would seek the companion of the TV, the radio, music or what-not. Not tonight. This kind of weather is soothes and calms me like no other and I just let all thoughts run inside my head.

Today, I just heard that a former classmate is actually getting married. She just also graduated. When my friend told me, I just had to ask, “Is she pregnant?” Turns out she was, 4 months if my sources were correct. Wow. I can’t help but admire her decision in keeping the baby and getting married. If that had happened to me at this time in life, I would probably do the alternative- that is, having an abortion. Just can’t believe I just that, but really that’s how I feel. I dunno if I would feel the same way a few years from now, but the as I said, at this time of my life, I know I am not responsible enough to raise another human being.

Don’t get me wrong, I actually am hoping that that situation would never take place- me having an abortion. When the time comes that I am to have sex, and I know that I’m not ready to have a child, I hope that I would have the logic and reason to take precautions not to have one. By the way, I already have names for my children, ironic isn’t it? Corrine and Miguel. Yup, just two children for me. Paternal twins if I have my way.

I was also “unli” today. I texted up some people and it was fun. Chika and updates with other “unli” people. My good friend (lets just call her “chenes”, I don’t think she would appreciate it if I blab all these things for all the world to read) we were of course making the most out of the service, Anyways, it was almost midnight and she said that she’s tired and sleepy. Being the heckler that I was, I teased her that she only wants to go to sleep because she wants to dream about Y tu mama tambien, the movie that we were talking about earlier. To which she replied something like, “Nagawa ko na iba dun. Hindi masaya, nasaktan lang ako.” Oh-K. Great. As I also happen to know the guy she was with then, well…, it was an awkward moment for which I was lost for words. Of course, had I not been involved and caught in the middle in this entire “situation”, it would have been funny, hilarious even.

I hope that it rains every night. Selfish thought, but really. I think that the rain helps me keep it together, helps me get through everyday. I especially like it when at times the rain would seem to stop, it gently turns to drizzle but at the next second, it all comes pouring relentlessly down. Love it.

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